Yesterday our family of 5 attended 11:30 AM mass at our church. We typically attend an earlier mass, but that just didn't work for us this weekend and I have always been told that you should choose the time that will best allow you and your family to worship. So Sunday at 11:30 it was.
The biggest "issue" with the later mass is that the nursery is not open. Joseph is our first child that has been "demoted" (as I like to call it) to the nursery. Ella and Lucas were always fairly easily entertained in church with some Cheerios and a few books. Not the case with Joe. He feels the need to make everyone aware of his presence by yelling and running down the aisle. So the nursery is the place for him - all sorts of cars and blocks and trains and noise. On those rare occassions when he is in mass with us, he usually ends up in the back about half way through the service and Brandon and I end up frazzled as we walk out the door.
So yesterday as we were getting ready I stocked Joe's bag with books, action figures, gold fish and any other quiet toy I could find. And I must say he did fairly well! (Fairly well for him that is.) He did chat a bit, but what 2-year-old is going to stay silent for an entire hour? Brandon and I giggled when Joe loudly rattled off some jibberish and then said "I singing!" More giggles when he looked at the sheet music in the book and said "Golf clubs!" (His father's son, indeed.) He did have a couple minor outbursts (and I really do emphasize minor) when he was worried his brother was taking his seat. (A common fear for the youngest of three I do believe.) With about 15 minutes remaining Brandon finally escorted him to the back of church as the latest outburst was starting to escalate and I'm pretty sure there was about to be some kicking.
When mass was over Ella, Lucas and I walked to the back of church and found Joe out cold on Brandon's shoulder. We left and I felt more than a little pleased with our experience. It wasn't perfect and Joe did wind up leaving early, but he made it longer than usual and I know one day this will all be over and the 5 of us will be able to celebrate mass every week as a family.
So what is the point of all this (other than my general thoughts and reflections on how one day it will be better and I will probably look back on this and laugh)? The point is to express my frustration and irritation with the woman in the pew in front of us. She was an older woman - I'm guessing in her 70's or maybe even 80's. For the entire 45 minutes that we sat behind her she shot us dirty looks, rolled her eyes and gave several heavy sighs. I wish I hadn't noticed and I wish I didn't have that distraction, but I did and now it is sticking with me almost more than the message of the Gospel that day.
Believe me, I have sat in front of the "loud kids" in mass before. Some have been downright unruly and pulled my hair when climbing on the back of the pew or repeatedly dropped things next to me over the back of the pew. Some have flat out screamed while their parents made their best attempts to calm them. Not once did I make a face or sound. Not only because I know what it's like and I so feel for those parents at that moment, but because I believe it is important for children to be in church. I read this blog last month - this says it better than I could and says everything I believe.
So to the woman in front of us - I'm sorry that my toddler was not completely silent for an hour straight. But not once did he touch you (with his own body or any of his possessions). Not once did he yell in your ear or get anywhere near your face. Not once did he throw a temper tantrum or take off down the aisle. But please be aware that our church is full of families with young children. It is part of a community that includes a large elementary school. I know of many who attend our church with several generations of their family, which brings such a smile to my face and makes me a little jealous that my children don't have that added bonus. These children are the future of our community - where else should the foundation for the future begin but in church?
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