Lost

I am feeling lost of late.  In some ways very grounded and exactly where I should be and rolling right along.  But in other ways... just lost.  What bothers me even more is that the things that make me feel this way are somewhat elementary and immature and silly, but you can't always help the way you feel.

I told Brandon tonight something that has been on my mind for several weeks now.  (And let's face it, something that is never, ever far from my mind.)  I need some alone time for ME.  Absolute, 100% me time.  It's not that he is preventing me from having this or that he doesn't encourage it - it's just life.  We are busy with jobs and kids and being grown-ups.  But these days, the only time I have to myself is when I am running errands.  The grocery, the bank, the like.  I tell myself that if I have some time to hide out in a back corner of the library and read one of the many books on my night stand that I will come out refreshed and ready to start anew.  Or that if I can have a day at the spa (which hopefully accepts Monopoly money) I will be so relaxed that I can't help but resurface ready to conquer the world.

I've heard so many people say you have to schedule time for yourself. Actually pencil it in somewhere. (Or type it I suppose. Who actually has a paper calendar anymore? Me, that's who.) For the longest time I thought that was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard. You can't schedule "me" time and plan on sticking with it - stuff happens! Life happens. Sometimes you have to just bypass and take care of business. But now I am realizing this is exactly what I must do for the sake of my sanity.

Just tonight I also told Brandon (during a different discussion) that sometimes you just have to find a way, and if the old way isn't working then you have to find a new one.  So perhaps I should follow my own advice.  Find direction in those moments when I am lost.  Take charge and seek the path I am looking for.  And if the path I think I'm looking for can't be found, then forget about it and find another. 

So perhaps in the midst of all this path-seeking and me-time-scheduling I will come to some resolutions about where I am going and what my next steps will be (and should be).  It just feel like there are so many loose ends right now and I don't know which ones to grab first.  But it is becoming more apparent that I cannot grab them all at once and tie them into one nice, neat, big bow.  So I will start tying knots, one at a time, to keep them from fraying.  And once that is done I might be able to gather them up into one tight bunch.  And maybe I won't.  But that certainly won't stop me from trying, and maybe even tying some new knots if I need to.

Hidden Gems

Perhaps the title of this post should be "Obvious Gems."  But when the gems aren't so obvious to me, they fall into the hidden category.

I am always trying to find fun, new things to do with my kids, especially during the summer.  As much as they love to swim and play in the backyard and go to the park, it does get old after a while and let's face it - nobody wants to play outside when we are under an Excessive Heat Advisory.  So trying to find something that A - appeals to all ages and genders and B - doesn't cost a small fortune can be a bit challenging.

And that's what best friends are for!  Mine suggested taking the kids to the Wright-Patterson Air Force Museum.  Why on earth haven't we thought of this before?!  It is an easy 45-minute drive from our house and best of all, it is FREE!  (Of course with the cost of gas these days I guess it's not 100% free, but its about as good as it gets folks.)  So off we set on Wednesday morning with 6 kids, not really sure what to expect other than a bunch of airplanes. 

Saying this was a "pleasant surprise" does not even do it justice.  The whole thing was an awesome experience.  For starters, the kids had a great time - not an easy task when you are dealing with boys AND girls, ranging in age from 1-9.  They loved seeing the planes, reading about them and checking out some other small artifacts throughout the museum.  And of course they wanted their picture taken in front of just about every aircraft we walked past.

The museum is set up in 3 hangars - we made it through about one and a half, from "The Early Years" through the Vietnam War.  There were planes on the ground and planes in the sky - so much to see everywhere and so many different things I wanted to photograph.  Unforunately it was not so easy when trying to keep up with a bunch of kids, but I did get some neat shots:

One day I would love to back sans-children and actually read and learn about some of the things I saw, like these:

And while there were planes, planes and more planes, there were also plenty of other things - TONS of other things - throughout that I would love to check out.  





We convinced the kids to stop and look at a few but you know as well as I do that a large airplane right in front of you is much more appealing to a child than a piece of paper in a display case.

I think I could easily spend the entire day there, reading and learning and soaking it all in.  Walking through there makes me realize how much I DON'T know and for that I feel guilty.  My grandfathers fought in World War II, my father-in-law fought in Vietnam and while I know what I was taught in history class in school, there is so much more I am completely unaware of. 

So in addition to the history lesson, I learned a few other things... 1) How to plan better for my next trip there with the kids because they really want to go back and see the things they missed.  2) I will need to find a babysitter so I can back sometime and see what I want to see.  3) Going forward I will do a much better job of seeking out the wonderful opportunities around me.  What's that line from The Wizard of Oz?  "If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard..."

You Capture - Drinks

What a fun challenge this week!  The story of my weekend can actually be told through drinks...

Last week the kids and I spent every morning at Vacation Bible School.  While it was amazing, it did throw off our normal routine and I think it is safe to say it wore us all out.  So by the time Friday evening rolled around, I was DONE.  Once we got the kids in bed, Brandon and I planted ourselves on our family room couch and caught up on our DVR while enjoying a few much-needed adult beverages.  Nothing fancy, but simple is exactly what we needed!

Saturday our friends threw a Luau-themed party, roasted pig and all.  True to their style, the house was decorated in bright colors, everyone received a lei as they walked in the door and there was a variety of frozen drinks to choose from.  They even took care of the non-frozen-drinkers with some good old fashioned beer, but they still couldn't escape the festive cups!

Of course the best part of this evening was getting to share a few drinks with my old friend. 

My absolute favorite parts of every weekend are Saturday mornings (and sometimes Sundays) when we have nothing to do except sit around, drink coffee, watch cartoons with the kids and read the paper.  It doesn't happen often around here, but when it does... oh, it is glorious!  (A side note on my mug of choice: We have 3 photo mugs, one for each child.  And you better believe they pay attention to which one you are using and ensure they get proper rotation so everybody gets a turn!)

Sunday afternoon my best friend and I took all 6 of our "little" kids to the zoo.  It was supposed to be a nice day - warm and sunny.  At least that's what the weather man said.  The reality: it was HOT!  Luckily I still need to bring a stroller on such outings so we could load up the basket with refeshments.

Sunday night as Brandon and I sat down after the kids were in bed, we both agreed it was the best weekend we've had in a very long time.  Time spent together, time spent with good friends and fun for everybody.  Doesn't get much better than that.

See what other people are drinking this week at I Should Be Folding Laundry.

Things I Learned at VBS

The subtitle of the majority of this post should be "A Few Reasons I Am Not A Teacher." 

So this year I volunteered at Vacation Bible School.  Honestly, the only reason I signed up is that Lucas was too young to participate in the regular VBS and I knew he would be really bummed.  But if I volunteered for at least 3 days he could participate in the Preschool version.  Plus they offered the baby nursery for those not quite old enough for the preschool class.  I don't think it could have worked out any more perfectly.  The weird part is that we did not attend VBS at our church.  We missed out on that one - it was the same week we were on vacation.  But I had heard great things about the program the Methodist church down the street offered so we signed up for that.  And I have to admit - it was fantastic!  It was very well organized and the way it was all presented was perfect and the directors were wonderful and my kids had an absolute blast. 

So why, you must be asking by now, would this make me want to avoid teaching?

Because I don't think... no, I'm certain... I could not handle the majority of these children or children like them on a daily basis.  I know that must sound so terrible and I will say for the most part, it is not the fault of the kids.  So here is a list of what I learned:

1.  There are parents out there who use VBS as a dumping ground or free babysitting service when they don't know what else to do with their children.  If your child does not wish to attend VBS please do not send them.  It ruins the experience for all the other children in the group because it is very apparent they do not wish to be there.

2.  Peer pressure to "look cool" starts at a very young age.  Much younger than I had realized.  Within my small group were three 6-year-old boys - 2 cousins and their friend.  Two of them did not really care to participate in the majority of our activities and they set out to get attention by being rowdy.  Extremely frustrating, from a "teacher" standpoint, because there was only so much I could do and they didn't really care who I was.  But also frustrating, and very sad, because that third little boy wanted to participate so bad but it was obvious he was too worried about what the other two were doing and what they might think.

3.  Kids will tell you some weird things.  Most of it can be funny and amusing, but sometimes... not so much.  Like the child who was a huge Harry Potter fan.  I told him I didn't know anything about Harry Potter (never read the books, never seen the movies, don't really care to).  He made it his personal mission to get me call caught up.  And I mean in great detail.  Every spare minute he found.  Over the course of several days.  God love him, because he was so excited about it and I certainly didn't want to be mean, but he would pick up right where he left off each time and I had no idea what he was talking about, nor did I really care to be a Harry Potter expert.  That, coupled with the fact that I had other children to tend to, left me trying to find a nice way to cut him off.  I'm not sure I was very successful.

4.  Adolescent girls will make you deaf.  I have a 7-year-old daughter.  I know they scream a lot for no good reason and I know it gets loud.  But holy cow - put 40 of them in a small room and have them compete for which group can cheer the loudest... Whew!!!  God truly was at work last week because it is nothing short of a miracle that I can still hear.

5.  Even if you have the most well-behaved group, the crazies in the group next to you will get them all riled up.  Just when I would think "My group is fantastic!  Look how well behaved they are!  They are actually paying attention!" that group next to us would start yelling during prayer and wrestling on the floor during Bible Story time.  And my little angels just could not resist the temptation.  Back to square one.

But despite all the insanity, my kids and I had a great week.  I got to meet some wonderful people, both young and old.  I got to see kids come out of their shells and be there to witness them "getting it."  Ella and Lucas had so much fun and absorbed so much, plus made some new friends of their own.

So is this enough to make me change my view?  Maybe... but just for one week each year.  :)

You Capture - Black & White

When I saw the challenge for this week's You Capture, I have to admit I was a little disappointed.  When I first started joining in these challenges, that was one of the first topics.  And it really wasn't that long ago.  And like Beth stated in her post this week, I am usually hesitant to turn my shots into black and white because I feel I always lose something. 

BUT... it quickly dawned on me I would have the perfect opportunity to get some great shots to convert.  My nephew's birthday party was last week and his party was held in a firetruck-themed room.  There were 2 actual firetrucks in there, with all their nozzles and gears and guages and knobs and whatever else comes on there.  Perfect!  So many neat shots and angles I could capture.

And then what happened?  You guessed it - I completely forgot!  In all fairness, I did get some really great shots of the party, but none that were really worth making black and white.  So I had to find some hidden gems in what I had and do some major cropping.  Here's what I came up with:

And a cute shot of my adorable little fireman.  :)

On the way out, Ella "won" this black and white ring in a quarter machine.

And finally, a little black and white that has always made me giggle.  We have had this book since Ella was a toddler; it came with a box set of ABC books.  This picture is in no way edited - hopefully you get the same laugh I did.  :)

Head on over to I Should Be Folding Laundry for more of this week's black and white offerings.

You Capture - Summer

When I saw the topic for this week's You Capture post, I wasn't quite sure where to start.  What's not to love about summer?!  There are so, so many things that come to mind when I think of my favorite season.  I finally decided to capture my two favorite things of this hot and steamy time of year.

My mom and step-dad have a pool at their house and many weekends are spent there, with a lot of other family members and friends.  We have a very large family and a lot of very close family friends (extended family, if you will) - if you didn't know any better you would think they are having a party every weekend.  But no - it's just the family! 

Of course they love nothing more than when their little angels (my 3 kids and my nephew) come to visit.  Being the doting grandparents they are, the kids pretty much have the run of the place and can do and have what they want.  So here they are - Joseph, Lucas, Ella and Nathan - taking a much-needed snack break.  They had drinks in their personalized water bottles (purchased by Mawmaw) and Oreo cookies (provided by Pawpaw).  Pool, sun, cousins, chocolatey snacks - what more could a kid ask for?

The thing I look forward to most every summer - our annual Haungs Memorial Golf Outing. 

This is the eighth year for our outing.  It involves all of my mom's siblings (that's them in the picture above, plus my Grandma), along with their families, converging on Northern Kentucky for a mini-reunion and 9-hole golf outing.  Now that everybody is scattered across the country, we don't see each other as often.  But every year, in early July, we come together for a golf outing and party in honor and memory of my grandfather and my uncle who have passed away.

It is fun for so many reasons.  Most of us (myself included) are NOT golfers, so we just get out there to have a good time.  And there are a lot of us - my mom is one of nine kids, there are 14 grandkids and now we are starting to have our own children so there is a whole new generation.  There is a trophy, so there are some bragging rights that go along with a win.  There are pictures from years past, all compiled into an album, so there are stories shared and rehashed.  There is food and drink, and swimming and card-playing and time spent together that we don't get any other time of the year.  It is an all-day and all-night event and it has been one of my favorite things every year since we began.

I could have posted half a million pictures from the day.  I am the unofficial "staff photographer" of the day - I take all pictures and add them to the album each year.  My mom has dubbed me the paparazzi - on the course I am much more concerned about getting pictures of everybody than I am about golfing!  (Oh!  My turn again?  What hole are we on??)  So here are a few more shots from the course...

My paparazzi-ish work, taking pictures through the trees

An action shot from the ninth green

Intimidation!  As each team finishes, they line up their carts along the ninth green and watch as the other teams come in.  You do NOT want to be the last team to finish!

I should have spent a little more time on my editing this week, but I am later than I had planned on linking up and I didn't want to miss the challenge all together!  For some other great photos, be sure to visit You Capture over at Beth's place.

Best Laid Plans

It is finally happening.  I finally feel as if I have a handle on the things going on in my home and in my life and in my career.  Shhh... don't talk about it too loudly or it is bound to all fall to pieces again!  Last week I wrote about the craziness that consumed June and how terrible I felt about the way everything was going.  I vowed to make July better.  And guess what?  It is working!  This week I have felt an inner peace and happiness I have not felt in quite some time.  And friends, it is amazing. 

I must admit, when I first quit my full-time office job I had a very false picture of how things would go.  I did not expect everything to be calm and clean and perfect all the time, but I envisioned happy mornings spent playing with my kids and quiet afternoons where they napped and I took care of household chores, followed by happy family dinners in the evening, then more family time spent playing games or playing outside or going on outings.  How very fairy-tale-ish.  I don't think I need to tell you that it did not go like that at all.  Not even one day.

But this week... oh, this week the tides are turning.  I have been to the gym and plan on going back this afternoon.  I have taken the kids to the pool and will be taking them again tonight.  We are going to the zoo tomorrow.  I have run some errands.  I have cleaned the house (well... the top half!).  I have had ample time to do my work while Joseph slept and the big kids enjoyed some "quiet time" of their own playing downstairs.  Today, for the very first time, I have actually completed all of my work for the day - it's already done!  That means I can spend this evening editing my pictures for this week's You Capture post.  (Finally!) 

All of this has left me feeling satisfied and happy and somewhat giddy, like I want to skip around my house for the rest of the day.  I look ahead in my planner and it is nearly empty.  Unheard of!  (I confess, I wrote a couple somewhat-meaningless tasks in there earlier in the week because the look of an empty weekly agenda was so foreign to me I didn't know how to deal with it.)

Yes indeed, my plan is finally falling into place.  Don't get me wrong - I still have quite a bit of catching up to do in all areas.  But I feel like I finally have a chance to actually do it and to start my Home Project To-Do list again.  Maybe one day soon I can even cross one off that list!

No, it is still not perfect and yesterday there were several near-meltdowns, from mom and kids alike.  But we got through it.  And we will continue to get through it.

Just this morning Ella told me "You are the best mom ever.  You always have been and you always will be."  If that's not enough motivation I don't know what is.

You Capture - Feet

It has been so, so long (way too long) since I have been able to link up with You Capture.  Twice over the past month and a half I have actually taken pictures for You Capture and then, before I even got a chance to post them, the week was over and it was on to a new topic.  So with my vow to find balance and get back to what I love, I read all the You Capture posts I missed over the past 6 weeks or so.  I figured I would read the most recent post from this Monday, get the scoop on next week's topic and get to work.

But Divine Intervention - or maybe not something quite so wonderful or miraculous ;) - stepped in!  Turns out the topic for last week was "Feet."  I immediately thought of at least 3 pictures I had taken of feet last week.  I have to admit, I was so excited I almost clapped my hands and squealed!  (OK, maybe I did... a little.)  I can link up after all!

Last week we went on vacation with the entire Tabor family to Perdido Key, FL.  This is the first time we have been to the beach in 3 years - it will be the first trip Lucas remembers and it was the first trip ever for Joseph.  We have a sand box in our backyard, so he has certainly touched and played in sand before.  But he has never actually been IN the sand.  His first visit - he was not so sure!

He did NOT like the feel of it on his feet!  He wanted so bad to get it off, but he was very hesitant to touch his feet with his own hands.

But once he saw everybody else running and having a good time, he pulled himself up and didn't seem to mind his feet in the sand after all.

And by the end of the week, he was setting off on his own adventures.

I know this shot isn't nearly as cute as the previous shots of Joe's chunky little toes, but I think it's still worth posting!  These are my feet - pedicured and all, which is a real rarity - standing in the gulf water.  The bright sun, the soft white sand, the clear cool ocean.  I could have stood in this spot all day, watching all the activity around me and feeling the waves crash over my feet.  Makes me feel dreamy just looking at it!



Ah, it feels good to be back!  Be sure to check out this week's other You Capture posts.  Happy reading (and posting)!

Welcome Back

Holy cow, what happened to June?!  I had the very best of intentions to write numerous posts - the ideas were just swimming in my head, tons of things to write about.  But sadly, there were too many things swimming around and absolutely no time to sit and write about them.  Same goes for blog reading - I am behind on all my favorite blogs and it makes me sad, like I am missing out on visits with good friends.  (Maybe not that extreme - some of these people I have never even met.)

I thought for sure June would be the beginning of our "relaxing" summer.  The kids were out of school, meaning lack of schedule and homework.  Lazy days in the backyard and at the pool.  But there was tee-ball.  And gymnastics.  And swim lessons.  And preparing for vacation.  And of course the everyday stuff around the house and, oh yeah... work!  So in the midst of all that everything else got lost and it felt like the most frantic month in my entire life.  I look back and it is all a blur.  I felt (and still feel) very unbalanced.

My primary goal when I quit my full-time office job was to be happier and more relaxed at home.  To find a true balance between work and home life and everything that goes along with it.  In June, I failed miserably.  We were all at our wit's end, Brandon was beyond stressed, the kids seemed to fight constantly, and I felt like I spent all my time dealing with other people and things and absolutely no time dealing with myself.

So I vow that July is a new beginning!  All classes and lessons and games and practices have ended for the summer.  Vacation has come and gone.  I am writing what I hope to be the first of many posts for the month (and beyond).  I have books (yes, plural) on my nightstand just waiting to be read.  Thanks to some reading I did on vacation last week, I feel motivated and inspired - more than ever - to find the balance I am so desperately seeking and make everything come together.  Things are looking up and I refuse to look down.

So bring it on, July - I am packed and ready to go!